Cognitive Dissonant

I usually refrain from publishing angst while I’m in Mex… El Paso.

If I don’t vent I may explode. Actually, my head may explode regardless.

Migraines since I landed. All stress related. My team let me down while I was gone. My boss is consistently pissing me off. It looks like my only shot for a vacation won’t be until May, maybe April.

There’s a good chance Skippy’s* boss will drop by Thursday.

Me:”You’ve told me I need to ask for more feedback. Well, now is a good time!”

Skippy*:”Well… you can start by.. saving the big words and colorful expressions for your personal correspondence..”

You have got to be fucking kidding me!

“use smaller words.”

He also said a few other things quite irritating, I can’t remember through the steel wool wadding crammed behind my eyeballs.

I even bought a damn $27 hardcover book on management, just because I know Slippy’s* boss will ask if I’ve read it.

I have developed a new preoccupation.

Open source hardware. A microcontroller developed with physical computing in mind.

Arduino.

I have a subscription to Make:Magazine. In perusing their modest store, I repeatedly encountered mention of the Arduino and accessories designed to expand its utility. My curiosity turned up a thriving community of artists and developers.

I haven’t done any significant programming in 12 years. My electronics knowledge is negligible. Still, I can’t help but be intrigued. This little device is open source hardware. That means that a multitude of enthusiasts are developing for it. In fact, available here is a unit mated to a BlueTooth transceiver. This means that whatever you want from it can be done wirelessly, up to 300 feet. The platform allows for communication with GPS, displays (OLED,LCD), LEDs (blinking out of sequence, so you can make them blink in sequence,) Quad-band cellular modules, stepper motors, accelerometers, barometric sensors and humidity sensors, and more. Do you want to make a teddy bear that knows when he’s upside down? Would you like to upload bedtime stories to him after dinner? Would you like to low jack your child’s favorite toy? Or maybe have Teddy tell Sara when its time to come home when Mom calls Teddy’s hotline. The opportunities are endless!

As an artist and as a geek I feel compelled to investigate! I don’t know when this hobby is supposed to fit among the easter island head, the key to hammunaptra, “hope*” and El Paso, but who cares!

*I queried several companies several weeks ago looking for quotes on custom cut Electro-Luminescent panels. Only two companies responded, only one was of any help. The quoted price was an improvement over research completed a few years ago. I ordered, and paid for, 6 panels and inverters for each. I recieved 14 panels and an inverter designed specifically to run the 6 panels I requested. The battery arrived weeks ago and I only retrieved it from the leasing office yesterday. I am now committed to completing what would have been, could be, my Master’s program portfolio.

All I need is time!

———————

Ok, ok… I just bought one.

So tired,

So sore,

but I love this part of the travel. I’m going home!

I’m pretty sure that could have gone worse… No one was shot, although it certainly crossed my mind.

How did the interview go? There wasn’t one.

He enthusiastically disagreed with a a judgment call I was forced to make. It was down hill from there. I hadn’t followed up on a few things that had since deteriorated. I also misread some merchandising instructions. For once, I was not made to feel that I was lucky to keep my job. However his assessment of the store seemed to preclude my potential for promotion any time soon. In fact the interview never came up. I half think he forgot he said he’d interview me. I wouldn’t have taken the job, I can’t imagine he’d offer the salary it would take to make me move.. again.

I was criticized for not being humble, for being open.

Still, he says “I have to give you that, you’re a bright guy. you’re smart.”

“Sometimes too smart.” I quipped.

Probably not a good thing that he winked.

I’m not particularly concerned that the interview didn’t happen. I know this isn’t what I want to do, I just need to do something about it.

I interview tomorrow for the job I’ve been doing since December…

I also get to go home in three days! WooHoo!

“Well I’ve never been there, why would I know? I thought they spoke… Irish or something.”

“I put Florida somewhere next to Illinois.”

Where’s San Jose?

“See I know that one, California.”

Ok, and San Angelo?

“… California?”

West Texas.

“Well all the other Saints are in California!”

I just don’t like El Paso.

I don’t get airsick. I don’t get seasick, or carsick.

I’ve never suffered from motion sickness. I fell asleep in moving cars until I was in  my teens!

So why, after two months of flights between far, far west Texas and San Antonio, do I turn green 10 minutes into my flight?

I managed to get to the plane’s lavatory quickly enough to avoid embarrassing myself the first time and the second time, during a turbulent landing, was a false alarm.

Profuse sweating, claustrophobia, dizziness, nausea…

This better have been a fluke or I am going to tell Skippy* “I don’t want to play anymore!”

I am so in the wrong line of work.

I need to go back to school!

I love finding sites like this, does that make me weird? Rhetorical question.

and this

and this

electrical engineering and robotics aren’t exactly rocket science… not exactly.

[sigh]

Gibson had it right.  Why can’t I just buy an “Advanced Electrical Engineering” SD card and upload everything I need to know.

Ahem, when I mention a Badonkadonk… this is not what I have in mind!

Lol!